


cranky

by derflohwalzer



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Attempt at Humor, Chaos, Crack Treated Seriously, F/F, F/M, Name-Calling, OH MY GOD THATS A TAG, Other, Why Did I Write This?, but like not SERIOUSLY seriously, cranky, its more implied but its never talked about so, teen and up because miu and kokichi are within arguing range of each other, the reader has a spine and uses it goddammit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-15 07:00:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29929641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/derflohwalzer/pseuds/derflohwalzer
Summary: you should never be woken up before nine.
Relationships: Iruma Miu & Reader, Iruma Miu/Reader
Comments: 9
Kudos: 5





	cranky

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mius_imagination](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mius_imagination/gifts).



> hey this is for that one person who makes really really good danganronpa hcs ,, i think ur like. really swag and i wanted u to have this since it came into my mind and i immediately thought 'oh hey this reminds me of that one cool hc person :0' so uhh yeah!! enjoy :D

A high pitched shriek across the campus was what woke you up at what had to be a horrid hour of the morning to be awake. You bit back a frustrated yell as you ran a hand through your hair to try to tame it, stumbling out of your door and towards the source of the shrill scream.

You found pretty much everyone there, even Kokichi, who was huffing under his breath as he tried to bury his face into his pillow to sleep while standing up...he'd catch a cold if he did that, you'd have to remind him to go to his bed instead of standing in the hallway idly while he snoozed.

"What's wrong?" you asked, voice groggy and hoarse with sleep amongst everyone else's sleepy voices.

"I'll tell ya what's wrong!"

Oh. Miu.

You glanced up to her, noticing that she had a hand over her forehead, as if she were clutching a wound or something. Did she get hurt?

"Well? Get on with it," Himiko grumbled sleepily, blanket draped over her shoulders and eyes barely open.

"Well, I was staying up late ta finish one of my gorgeous inventions, like usual! After all, lack o' sleep can't even think ta blemish this perfect beauty!" she started, smug and basking in her self praise, "but then I looked in the mirror ta get the oil stains off o' my face, and that's when I saw _it_!"

"Saw...what?"

"A _bruise_!" she shrieked, taking her hand away from her forehead to reveal a small mark barely the size of a quarter on her forehead, above her eye. "A horrid, disgusting, absolutely _putrid_ bruise on my dazzling face! How am I s'posed ta go out like this?! My reputation will be in shambles — _shambles_ , I tell ya!"

"...that's barely anything to worry about, Iruma-san," Shuichi said from where he leaned against the wall, trying hard not to fall asleep.

"Uh, yes it is! Though I s'pose a yucky shut-in virgin like _you_ wouldn't know the first thing about this, though! Blegh!"

"Can't you just cover it up with makeup?" Kaede asked, hand resting reassuringly on Miu's shoulder. The inventor, in turn, whirled around and draped herself dramatically onto the poor pianist, leaving her to carry all of her weight while she rambled on.

"It would never work! I'm telling ya, this is the end for me! Say goodbye to the beautiful and legendary Miu Iruma, for she can't be seen outside like this! It'd be a tragedy to the world!" she cried out. You fought the urge to roll your eyes at her antics, only because it was about four in the morning and you were _not_ happy about being woken up so suddenly.

"It wouldn't be a tragedy," Kokichi laughed obnoxiously from where he'd woken up enough to mock her. "But why don't you get someone to kiss it better, huh? Bet nobody would volunteer!"

"Excuse me, ya flyin' sack o' limp dicks-!" she started, obviously offended as she lifted herself off of Kaede and stomped over to Kokichi, jabbing a finger into his chest as she spoke. "Anybody would jump at the chance ta kiss someone as naturally perfect as me!"

"Oh really?" he teased, that stupid grin on his face, "like who?"

"Like- uhh-"

She glanced around frantically until her eyes landed on the unlucky victim to be dragged into this.

"Like (Name)! Yeah, I bet they'd trip over their own two feet if I asked them ta even give me a tiny lil' cheek kiss! Ha!"

"Then why don't you get them to kiss it better, huh?"

"Hmph! I will!"

She pushed Kokichi's chest harshly with her finger and turned as he cackled. As she turned to face you, her face twisted from angry and frustrated to flirty and seductive. She smiled coyly as she twirled a strand of strawberry blonde hair around her finger, stepping towards you with the practiced grace of what you considered to be like a succubus.

"Oh, (Name)," she purred, voice velvety as she trailed a finger up your chest, drawing out the syllables of your name. "Wanna do your favorite inventor a quick favor and pucker up? I don't bite, I promise."

You stared at her, deadpan. She was good, you'd admit, and in other circumstances, you might've entertained her flirting and taken her up on her offer.

But you were simply far too tired to deal with this.

"No."

Her face fell in shock, barely concealed for a split second before she quickly dressed herself back up with a less than confident laugh.

"Ooh, yer _so_ cute!" she giggled, hand trailing up mischievously to grip your shirt collar and pull you towards her. "Playing hard ta get, huh? I can get inta that."

"Not right now, Miu."

"Oh, so yer saying you'd do it in the future? Didn't peg ya for the type, (Name), no pun intended."

You sighed, internally rubbing the bridge of your nose as she continued to trail devilish marks with her fingernails along your skin lightly. Your patience was running thin, and you really didn't want to yell at her in fear of genuinely hurting her feelings, but she was really, _really_ pushing it.

"Can't you ask Kaede or Kirumi to do it?"

"Nope! Just want ya, cutie pie~"

Your bitter frown was now one of annoyance. With all the patience you could summon from the deepest pits of your mind, you gently pushed her away and said, "Look, just apply some ointment to the bruise and you'll be good as new. You didn't need to wake everyone up, Miu."

She was frowning now, arms crossed under her bosom as she huffed.

"No fun! Whatever, yer not even that hot anyway."

You rolled your eyes this time. As Kokichi laughed maniacally in the background, you rubbed your temples with a sigh. How much longer would this go on before you could retreat to bed?

"Y'know what? I bet ya don't get any action, I bet yer just a virgin!"

Okay, that was the last straw. It didn't even offend you that much, but the fact that she still had the nerve to trash talk you after pulling a "you're not even that hot" _after_ waking you up like this was boiling your blood. You whirled around to face her and slammed your hand on the nearest surface, ignoring the painful sting that pricked at your palm.

"Listen here, _Miu_ ," you spat angrily, eyes burning as she glanced back to you. At least she had the decency to look shocked. "Call me anything like that again — or wake me up at ass o'clock in the goddamn morning — and I'll show you just what this _virgin_ can do. Trust me, it won't be pretty, and you won't be dead, but _trust me_ , you'll wish you were."

Nobody wakes you up before nine.

The entire room was stunned into silence. You were usually calm and rational, always keeping a cool head and staying out of trouble, so your outburst had everyone staring at you in shock. Kokichi's eyebrows were shot up so high, you thought they'd fly off of his face. Shuichi's eyes were wide as saucers, and Korekiyo's hand was covering his mouth daintily. Even Himiko was sitting up in surprise.

You stared at Miu, eyes still burning with that fiery wrath that had burned in your core since you were woken up so unceremoniously.

"..."

"Well? Got nothing to say, _Miu_?"

Nobody said anything for a moment, voices hushed, before Miu's voice rang out again, back to her raunchy and confident tone.

"...I know this wasn't what ya were goin' for, but I am _really_ turned on right now."

This time, you didn't hold back in letting out a frustrated scream from the bottom of your lungs before you stalked off to your room to retain what precious fragments of sleep you could salvage, completely tuning out Kokichi's loud cackles and Miu's calls of "Hey! Don't ya wanna make good on that backtalk o' yers?!".

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos are always appreciated!!


End file.
